So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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