Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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