The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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