I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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