Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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