There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
