I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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