She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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