i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
me + whiskey = a bad person
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
