thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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