Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize