ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
