So drunk, too bad you don't want this
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
