Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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