If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
