Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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