the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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