It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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