Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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