did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
