If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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