my vag is so smooth its legendary
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.