You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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