It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
