first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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