How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.