Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.