He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize