We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
