I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
no, he came in my armpit
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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