She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
