he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he shaved USA in his pubs
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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