Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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