Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
honey bunches of taint.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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