I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
