Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
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