just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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