Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
