i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
FUCK WHALES
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
