She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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