You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
