shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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