I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
50% drunk capacity currently
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
