When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
