very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
