oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
