I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
