she woke up with a sticky ear
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
