This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
