Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize