Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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