Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
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Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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