you would pick up someone in the library
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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