her vagine was all disorganized.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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