man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
