your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
