I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
