Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
