her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
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I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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