I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
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thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
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True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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