He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is Oprah even human
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
