So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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