I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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