how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
